I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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