Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
