i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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