Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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