Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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