I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
