What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
