If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
