But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
