dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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