And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
