I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize