I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I got her a Nickelback box set.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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