But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
