mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
