it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
