do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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