I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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