Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
