All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
