im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
