ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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