I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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