At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just had sex bonerless
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
