People in love make me want to vomit
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
