Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
