I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
