It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
