i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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