Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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