i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
