Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
