Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize