How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
