No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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