I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize