I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
