Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
These tits shall not be calmed
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