Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
