I wish I could teleport
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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