In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
