guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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