Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You are a genius and a whore.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
