I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
