This is not my ceiling
Who wears a wallet chain?!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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