Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
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