My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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