Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
