Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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