Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
