Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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