would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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