do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
