Someone shit on the floor
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
