I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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