why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
