Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Buhtt sex?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
