No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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