I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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