wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
