i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
