She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
