i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
