Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
