New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
